Prose
Train of dreams (start, page 1)
(Machine translation - Google)
I stood on the platform and looked into the distance. Gray autumn day: from the cold wind pierces you fine tremor, and upper sypletsya rain dust, for which you do not want to disclose umbrella.
- At the train bad name, young man! - I vzdrognul by surprise and met eyes with the head of the station - baleen elderly man in a blue cap, from under which beat gray hair. - Are you expecting it «Train Grez»?! - Probably yes, than the interrogative "he said, studying my mauled by a gray cloak.
- It will be any minute. But before you take their place in the car - my advice to you - to examine carefully the individual passengers who soydut on our station. They say some of them go mad after such a journey...
- It does not matter! - I answered sharply, burning cigarette. My trembling hands desperately, and in the throat stopped com.
- Everything in life has a meaning! - Pointedly praised station. - I certainly can tell, no one stays the same after that awful trip to the train. I remember a few years ago...
- Sorry, - I interrupted him. - I still need to buy something in the road.
Fast step, I headed for the nearest kiosk with newspapers, wishing to quickly get away from the annoying old man, and did not find anything better than to buy new issue «Times».
Meanwhile on the horizon appeared the silhouette of a train and it was a plangent blast. And what was my surprise when a closer look «train Grez» This locomotive was the thirties of last century, carefully painted in blue and red. From his pipe valil coal-black smoke, and the head coach was decorated with silver stars.
As predicted, my recent interviewee, those passengers descended to the platform, struck me with the thoughtfulness of his country, like frozen poluulybki. Such persons can be easily found in a home for the mentally ill! Sight looks like through you, through time and space, a person is struck by his quiet thoughtfulness, and detachment from worldly vanity, the movements smooth and a bit scattered, as when driving on the swings ...
It may be in my place by someone else, such a picture it would alert. But I had nothing to lose, and the desire to forget, to escape, leaving it much stronger than the fear of madness, or even fear of death. Presentiment something surprising and extraordinary tickle your nose, and I stepped in the twilight of an old wagon seats.
Automatically find in your pocket cloak Newsletter «Trains Grez», in which time I began to carefully examine it. Glossy color booklet old parchment with burnt edges painted locomotive bearing on the red desert or prairie clubs mystical fog. The trip promised to «return to me», «a meeting with their secret fears and complexes», «non-conventional method of immersion in another reality» and «a unique route of their own unconscious», and other nonsense. The idea that the author is clearly fond of the ad text or syurom took «pills of happiness», much amused me, and I stared out the window. Prior to departure remained ten minutes, but no new passengers hurried to fill half the space wagon. The little old lady in an old-fashioned hat with flowers and the same tsvetastom suit desperately argue about something with a conductor waving his hands and funny. By platform walking red dvornyaga, busily looking at passers-by and trying to guess whether there is any one in the bag for something food. The back, apparently in the vestibule between cars, someone broke out in such a desperate cough that I was not myself. Finally the voice of the driver ushered on administration, and the train moved, and touched the world as for his window. Slowly swim figure the station, nagnuvshegosya to raise the floor of a subject, in a vague haze растаяло building the station, over the platform, and only the silvery rails blestevshie wet from rain, zmeilis along our path, sometimes attacks on each other. The train gathered speed, issuing a short beep, and now I vslushivalsya rhythmic clatter of wheels in which nurse and bayukal.
A week ago I stuknulo forty. Perhaps it was the first time in my life's birthday, to which nobody came. Megan and Ron - do not count. Since my younger sister married a farmer's raw, strange, we have almost ceased to communicate. In general, Ron was a good fellow and well-treated Meg. They lived on a farm a half-hour drive from my house, occasionally calling on the phone, came at Christmas and now - on the day of birth. But to say we were not specifically what. Since my mother died of breast cancer, it has been more than a year, and this is all that is left of our happy family ... For many years my mother was the link, the solar ray, which we are bound and warms his love.
His father was killed in Vietnam when I was a boy, the older brother - Joseph stayed in the regular geological expedition somewhere in Siberia, the middle brother - Tony disappeared somewhere in Las Vegas, promatyvaya status of their elderly wives, and my best and perhaps the only friend Philip (military pilot) died in a test flight, did not manage to get out of recovery. Since then it has been three weeks and I have not been able to survive his death. Relations with Christy - my former girlfriend, and not dozhivshey to the status of spouses, hopelessly deteriorated after all these sad events. Recently, I came home drunk for absent-mindedness and constant tardiness me fired from work, I was close to hysteria, Oral constantly at her and refused to intimate proximity. Not surprisingly, she left me, saying last terrible words, which I was never able to forgive her: «You will bring misfortune to all who loves you!» And now, like an echo, sounded in my mind born of knocking the wheels and vrezayas firmly in my tired brain, in my limp body.
Landscape behind the window was replaced in the village. All rarely come across private mansions and apartment buildings, giving way to fields and boundless forests, let alone farm house, near which паслись occasional cow.
- Do you want to cup of coffee? - Complaisant conductor in a white tuxedo appeared in the opening between the rows of seats with a tray on wheels, which had drinks.
- Yes, perhaps! - A rather extended fat bald gentleman, raskladyvaya folding table.
- Orange juice, please - proshamkala tsvetastaya old.
- If you can, a glass of whiskey ... - I asked hesitantly.
- Oh! - Pointedly exclaimed the guide, bring it out of the bottle tray and fill my glass. - We have a very good tape! You'll like it, I am sure.
Gulp pleasure of life-giving moisture obzheg throat and filled with body warm tart.
«Service is no worse than in the« American Earlayns », - suffered head. What a strange lightness filled my consciousness, and I covered his eyes, is easier to imagine. Throughout the car barely perceptible aroma spread roses and tea tree. Perhaps so fragrant someone's perfume or a magic elixir, provided a conduit for another passenger. In tune up the cabin quiet meditative music, which in every cell of my body zaplyasali sun bunny. I was close to the physical and spiritual ecstasy ... «In my current situation - why would it suddenly? - I thought - it seems, they stretch to drink any drug. Well, so much the better! »
Comfortable armchair seating hugged me like a huge hairy beast, its soft paws, and I am more and more immersed in a state of sweet sandman. Flying through the twilight train takes me farther from the old life with its eternal issues, grievances, concerns and doubts ... But I finally managed to relax, as suddenly all my creature shuddered one inexplicable phenomenon: I realized that I see through closed eyelids, as if they were transparent! I am just in case wiped his eyes, then gently felt her face - her eyelids were tightly closed, and yet ... I can see! That feeling that inside I am settled at once two men: one of which is firmly asleep in an armchair, while the other can watch from what is happening around the events, walk, talk, eat and drink, read a newspaper ... As if there was a body separate from the soul, and my soul looked through its shell to the surrounding world, managed to perform with the separate action.
«Maybe I went mad! Head of the station was right! »- Feverishly thought I tried to look back. More specifically looked my mind, while physically, I remained motionless, and, perhaps, to issue a light snore. However, other passengers remained in their seats, doing their own affairs. An old man stared at the monitor of the laptop and vehemently klatsal fingers on keys, trying, perhaps, still in the hole in the unfortunate car, than to type a text tsvetastaya old was immersed in reading road magazines, pretty woman with her daughter solving crosswords, and bald gentleman prevented spoon to cool down the coffee.
«Do not understand! Is this happening only with me?! »- I was angry, trying to jump from his seat, to slightly flex the. Oddly, I have succeeded. Anyway, something inside me rose from the chair and was pace back and forth between rows of seats.
«If my astral body was able to secede from the physical body, I am simply obliged to see himself from the», - I thought, clinging to the idea of saving for a straw. However, my seat turned out empty, which led me to utter confusion. Maybe while I walk along the corridor, turning back to his seat, my body alone and left the wagon train is now on pace with his eyes closed like a sleepwalker? I became a nervous look about in search of help, I even thought that I proshib cold sweats, and leg were podkashivatsya of powerlessness by forcing the hand grasp the back of adjacent seats, so as not to fall.
- Man! You could not stop loom? - Zashipela to me an impossible old woman, returning a lost sense of reality.
- Sorry! - I muttered, returning to its original place.
«Should be, the thing was in whiskey. I drank too much in recent times. We need urgently to open your eyes! »- I decided, again usazhivayas in the chair. - «What could be simpler?!» - Is saving the idea disturbing throb in my temples, but here I am waiting for a complete fiasco --
«How can I open that, and so openly?!»
Dual feeling that I sleep and awake at the same time, have not disappeared, and I still clearly see everything that happened around me. This virtual reality was so obvious that I even felt physical pain from his own pizzicato in a vain attempt to wake up. And I for some reason recalled the tragedy of Calderon with a poetic name «Life is a dream». From him, the talented author of the XVII century it was known what was happening here with me in the XXI??! This idea is a bit exhilarate me, and caused some semblance of a smile on my face frozen from shock.
- What the Cursed place! - Through the procedure I have a sweet tooth with sarcasm. - Hey, people! You that - sleep?
Passengers continued to maintain their useless deeds, and nobody, absolutely nobody drew attention to my lone cry.
«Well! In all you need to look for their strengths! »- I tried to meditate, densely cross on the breast of his hands. - «Now you can do whatever wishes, and nobody will tell me nothing! And if they say - what's the difference? It's just a dream! And I wanted to spit on the taboos and decency! Remained only to decide where to start ... and perhaps I will go in the dining car. When will доведется otuzhinat absolutely free?! »
- Absolutely agree with you! - Appealed to me bald gentleman, up with me in the vestibule. - A free dinner is something that must be!
- You want to say that I spoke out loud! - I measured Fat Men suspicious eye.
- Far from it! I read all your thoughts!
-???
- Do not worry, please! - Fat bald gentleman grabbed the handle the door, as though fearing that I Fleeing or take him for crazy. - You see, - he continued apologetic tone, - I psychoanalyst by profession, and read the thoughts of their customers have been my long-held dream, which is incidentally realized in this mythical train ...
- Thanks, but I am not your customer, and hopefully they will not! - "I said firmly, to remove him from the gangway.
- However, I could help you, because nobody in that cursed train does not understand you well, as I - with indifference, he argued, by allowing me to come.
I do not know that it bribed me in his words, but I have a second delay on the ground, and then nodding his head, invited to follow along.